


The Sleeping Curse

by OofyDoofis



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Comedy, Crack, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Sleeping Beauty Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-10-08 00:14:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17375876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OofyDoofis/pseuds/OofyDoofis
Summary: Romano and America crack including a popular sleeping princess trope.





	The Sleeping Curse

“Hey duuuuuude!” America screamed into the abyss. 

“Hey bastaaaaaard!” the abyss screamed back. It was Romano.

Romano popped up and kicked America in the crotch hard before reaching out for a formal handshake. America was unaffected and shook Romano's hand with a smile. 

“How are you doing, you f***ing idiot?” Romano asked, before slipping into a hole and dying.

America nodded, “Yep, there went my human interaction for the day!” America sat down on a bed behind him and he proceeded to fall asleep for approximately 86 years.

…

“Wake up, bastard!”

America yawned and totally forgot about the dream he just had involving England burning down the Statue of Liberty just by looking at it. Romano was standing over him with a three inch long shovel in his mouth.

“Woah dude, how'd you get here?” America asked, getting up and doing stretches as any good, fit human country person should do in the morning.

“I broke both my arms in the fall but I was able to whittle a stupid, tiny, little stick I found into a stupid, tiny, little shovel and dig a stupid tunnel to the stupid surface. And here I find you f***ing asleep, so I kissed you and you woke up like that idiot princess in that movie of yours.”

America blushed intensely in the middle of a one-armed handstand. “OH MY GOD I'M SNOW WHITE NOW!” America smiled way too hard and ended up temporarily blinding Romano. 

“God d**n it, America, your amazing teeth are brighter than the sun, go drink some coke and ruin them again,” Romano said with a scowl, “And I was talking about Princess Aurora from the spinning wheel movie.” 

“HoW dO yOu ReMeMbEr ThE nAmE oF tHe PrInCeSs BuT nOt ThE nAmE oF tHe MoViE??!?!” America freaked out, pushing Romano away so he wouldn't have to see Romano's stupid anti-Disney face. However, since Romano was blind and unable to balance himself, he fell right into the hole again and broke both his legs. 

“Hmph. Serves him right,” America crossed his arms, “Snow White is cooler than Aurora anyway.” America sat down on his bed again like the true princess he is and slept for a thousand more years.

...

America woke up, tired of sleeping, to see Romano in the bed next to him. Naturally, he donkey kicked Romano into the next dimension (off the bed) and slapped him. However, Romano adamantly slept on. 

Romano must have the princess curse, too! But… what princessly act doth he commit to become the princess in this situation? 

Suddenly, America remembered that one part of Once Upon A Time where Prince Charming kissed the sleeping Snow White, waking her and falling asleep in her place. That must be what was happening! Carefully, America kissed Romano. But nothing happened. 

“Wait! It has to be true love! I have to love Romano as much as he loves me!” America shouted as loud as he could to nobody in particular. But how? 

How does one just fall in love with some random pasta dude? America didn't think he could do it. After all, the only person America has ever truly loved was a cactus he found once while dying of dehydration in Arizona. That was true love, and you only get one true love, right? 

An angry, Italian-accented voice sounded in his head, “Just f***ing do it, idiot. How stupid can you be?” Romano would probably say that if he were awake right now. And he would probably be right. America decided to do what he was best at: winging it.

America smirked. It’s time. 

America leaned in close and got a good look at Romano. He took in each detail, each little mark and spot on Romano's face. It was perfect. Absolutely perfect for a nice, intimate, hot, sweaty, amazingly satisfying slap to the face. And so America slapped the sleeping Romano as hard as Americanly possible. 

“WHAT THE FLYING F*CK YOU BASTARD? SLAP A MAN IN HIS SLEEP, WHY DON'T YOU?!?” Romano shot up and crouched defensively a few feet away, tears in his eyes.

America victoriously smiled and did a power pose, “It was the only to break the curse! And I did it!”

Romano's tears quickly vanished before they could ever really exist. “What curse, you butt?”

“The sleeping curse!” America said, flexing his muscles with ultimate pizzazz.

“I wasn't f***ing cursed, you fried chicken bastard! I was just about dead from climbing up that stupid tunnel like a f***ing worm! I was sleeping like a normal person!” Romano hissed.

…

After a ton of bickering, a bit of laughing, and a one-sided hug, Romano and America sat down and relaxed. 

“It's been a good day, hasn't it?” America asked.

“This was the worst 1,086 years of my life,” Romano replied. 

“Oh, crap, it's been that long?” 

“Yeah. Don't you have a sense of time, idiot?”

“My cactus is probably dead by now…” 

America shed a single tear, and thus the world ended.

The end.


End file.
